I’ve started to ‘clean out’ stuff that for one reason or another, has been hanging around in my house for a long time. Not only has this been cathartic, but I have been able to rediscover my mother through some of the things that I have come across.
Theresa O’Shea, my mom, died in September of 2004. I miss her every day and for sure will miss her the rest of my living days. I always knew that my mom kept calendars on the kitchen countertop, her favorites were the ones she got from Reader’s Digest. I happened to come across these calendars during the ‘clean out’ and spent several hours reading them.
She had an entry for nearly every day from 1999 – 2003. Things that she and my dad did, trips they took, what the weather was that day, how she was feeling. My mom had atrial fibrillation and never made much of a big deal about it to us, but after going through the calendars, I realize how much she was affected. The days that she had AF had entries with just those letters – AF. Every celebration was marked with a star, whether it was a birthday, a dinner, a party, or when we would go to plays at the Mark II dinner theater in Orlando (when it was still around). All of the trips to NC to see her family there were noted.
I then found the baby book that she started when I was born – not only was it a baby book for me, but for my two brothers as well. How can I describe the feeling I got seeing her beautiful handwritten words (in perfect cursive, no less), as she talked about her children?
During the last year of her mortal life, I was blessed to be able to care for her and tell her how much I loved her and how she enriched my life. For those of us who no longer have our moms here on earth, there will always be that empty spot every day, but especially on those days we specifically honor moms.
Tell your mom often what she means to you. Tell her every day if you can. Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mom’s out there, to those who are here with us and to those who are watching over us from above!
Finding my Voice 