Managing Expectations

Learning that my dad’s diagnosis was dementia didn’t come as a surprise to me.  What came as a surprise were the dynamic changes that could take place.  One day, he seems like the guy I know, looking confident (even if a little wobbly) and bright-eyed. The next, he is in a fog, unaware of where he is, or who is around him.

We have been very blessed to  have people coming into the home taking care of him and visiting him. He has the best neighbors ever! The agency we are using are very ‘angelic’ and their response to our call of need is so quick I can hardly believe it. Every caregiver that has come into the home has been exceptionally compassionate, kind and caring.

The toughest part of this disease is the uncertainty and unpredictability.  If a stranger had come into the house this morning, they’d think I was crazy to be hiring 24×7 care for him. What we are learning though, is that things can go downhill fast, even in the same hour. Things were going smooth this morning until….Me: ‘Dad, is there water running in your bathroom?’, Dad: ‘No, there isn’t’.  Me: ‘I hear water running in your sink’. Dad: ‘Oh my God I left the water running in my sink’….as he tries to jump up and turn it off.  God forbid that had been a stove top.

I’m not someone who typically feels hopeless.  But I am a realist, and know he will not get better and will continue to decline. I don’t like it, but I am accepting it.  I have no expectations at all about what each or each hour will bring. And I think that is ok.