For Everything There Is a Season…

This is  a season for me that I wish I did not have to experience. I know there will be a better season but the one right now is not where I want to be.

My dad and I have been especially close since my mother died in 2004. We’ve taken road trips together, traveled by air, gone to family weddings, concerts, baseball games, Christmas parties, theme parks. Some of the times were tough, most of the times were great fun.

Recently, my father spent some time in the hospital and a few days in rehab, with the hope that he would be able to strengthen his body and to gain some weight.  It was not to be. We brought him home this week, and what had been very mild dementia has rocketed into a rapid diminishment of his memory and cognitive abilities.  We went from having Thanksgiving Dinner a few weeks ago (even though he did not know what that was or why we were doing it) with him enjoying all of the fixings, to now, today. A short two weeks later.

He knows my name; he does not know that I am his daughter. He does know both of his sons and his neighbor.  He is not able to stand up by himself, or get himself into bed for the night.  His appetite is gone, and he cannot figure out how to use the remote for the television or how to answer his phone.

I am sad that I won’t have the kind of days ahead with my father that I’ve had in the past. I am sad to see him going through this.  There are times when I think that my faith is weak. I’ve come to know that having faith will not take away my sadness, but it will keep me from despair.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven