Waiting to Exhale……

It has been about 5 months since I last posted in this blog, and I feel like I have been holding my breath for that long.

Since I last posted, much has happened.  We were blessed to find an angel named Edith to take care of my father for 20 hours a day.  In the time she was with him, he became strong, developed an appetite and was able to stay in his own home.  Dad and Edith became quick friends, and he was truly happy to see her face in the morning, greeting him when he awoke (which at times was actually in the afternoon).  We were able to sustain this financially for about two and 1/2 months.  In home care is not covered by health insurance and most long term care policies will only cover $78 per day.

One of my brothers in North Carolina had suggested to me in December that we move my father up there, to be closer to the whole family, and to give me some respite.  At first I was opposed to giving up ‘custody’ of my father.  As I prayed about it, the question was clear to me as I heard it: “Are you keeping your father here for you or for him?”   Around the same time, I accidentally found that my father had been paying for long term care insurance for 12 years.  It took me three weeks to find out who it was with and to get a claim filed.

Dad moved to a beautiful assisted living home in Charlotte in February.   He settled in and with some coaching from the family, went to different events at the facility and met some of the other residents.

After he moved out of his house, we spent weeks moving furniture, making trips to Goodwill and Salvation Army, cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning, touch up painting, making repairs. You name it, we were busy doing it.  The house was listed on March 23, the day before I left for Charlotte for my dad’s 90th birthday celebration.  On March 25, I signed a contract for full asking price on the house!

Good Friday, while I was at Holy Redeemer, Met Life left me a voicemail – my dad’s long term care claim had been approved.

April 28 I closed on the sale of the house.  I exhaled for the first time since December. It was such a strange feeling, after all this time just wanting to get it sold and even avoiding going inside the house. 20 years ago, after I had been living on my own away from my family for many years, my parents decided to move to Florida to be near me.  It was for me, quite an adjustment. As my parents aged and my mother became ill, I became the caregiver and decision maker for them. Now, here I am 20 years later, almost to the day, here in Florida with no parents or siblings near me.

I realize that all of this  happened in God’s time, in God’s plan.

My dad is still in North Carolina. His physical health is declining somewhat rapidly.  The spinal stenosis has caused him to have a lot of pain in his back and legs and we are confident that the caregivers will be doing what they can to manage the pain.  He can no longer walk but has gotten pretty good wheeling himself in a wheelchair.

His attitude and spirit is doing great – that wonderful smile of his is always there, regardless of the kind of day he had.  The care he has received at this Assisted Living facility and at the local hospital have been more than excellent.   The rest of my family can get to know my dad as I have gotten to know him in his later years, God willing.

My dear, beloved dad, thank you for who you are and for never losing your faith. I know that you are in God’s hands (and mom’s if she has anything to say about it).